Here's a bit about my early career journey. What I did, how I figured out what I needed, and how I got there.
I never fully understood what or who I wanted to be when I grew up. When I was five, my (also 5-year-old) neighbor asked me to marry him and I answered “only if you’re rich.” This leads me to believe, that at some point I wanted to get married, have a family and not need to worry about “crude” things like work or money. This mindset appeared short lived.
When I got older, around 11 or 12 I became obsessed with hockey- 1 of 3 daughters who ended up being a fanatic, going with my dad to all the games (Go FLORIDA PANTHERS!). During those years, I wanted to be a part of the team I loved and declared, “I want to be an orthopedic surgeon,” so I can take care of the players and have a career closely aligned with my passion.
Then, in high school, I became obsessed with The West Wing, and wanted nothing more to work in Washington one day. I chose to go to college in D.C. to live out my dreams of working on the Hill and influencing the political landscape about causes I was passionate about while rallying around a (somewhat fictional) inspirational political figure. When I got to DC, I became a serial intern. I worked- for free- in all endeavors… my Congressman’s office, a foreign Embassy, lobbyist groups, non-profits. I worked while in school, I worked when I went abroad junior year, and it gave me an impressive resume when I graduated college. Then I moved to NY. I lived with my best friend from growing up, met people who became life long friends and started a career in the corporate sector. My first job, at Bloomberg L.P., was truly rewarding. It was my first time working for real money (sayonara intern life!), and I was working in an environment with many women, who represented diverse backgrounds. I found 7 years of a fulfilling, fast paced, meritocratic environment, where your work was rewarded in performance praise and bonuses, and you derived benefit based on the effort you put in. This felt liberating. And attainable. I knew if I worked hard, hustled, sought the benefits this company was giving me, I would have a long career path. I had mentors (who I remain close to this day), was given learning and development options, specialist opportunities and space to grow as a professional. I also put in long days. I would leave my apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan at 7:15 and get to work 7:30, where I worked until 6PM daily. It was a grind, but I had close work friends who I’d go out with weekly, and made a life for myself in the City. Then I was 25 when I met who would become my husband. I then started considering what life would be when I got married and started a family. Was my work life sustainable? Would I have enough time to give my career and kids. I was 29. We got married in 2011, and got pregnant in 2012. I was pregnant for 7 months when I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. I was at work, where I was fortunate enough to have a health center with a NP on site. I went in for a visit for what I thought was a bad headache, and before I knew it, they took my blood pressure, made me call my doctor and next thing I knew, I was in NYU while they monitored the baby.
Unbeknownst to me, this was my last day of work at Bloomberg . 7 years and an unexpected goodbye. I was placed on bed-rest until I was induced (painful story for another day), and had a beautiful, healthy baby boy at 37 weeks. I was then able to benefit from a generous maternity leave. (something that ALL women should be entitled to) Bloomberg gave me 6 months. I had 6 months to bond with my baby, deal with postpartum issues and a very painful recovery from an unplanned caesarean (where the pain did not go away for a full 9 months post-delivery). During this time, I tried to consider how I would go back to work? I couldn’t sustain the long hours. I loved what I did, but quite frankly, I did not make enough money for afford a full-time nanny. Day cares had long wait lists and I needed something near the office and my home. It became truly overwhelming to figure out. After chatting about this with my husband, it made more sense to stay home than go back.
So, I walked away.
I started a new journey as a stay at home mom. I joined mom groups, I tried to make friends (as many of my other friends hadn’t begun having kids yet), but it was truly difficult. I didn’t feel healthy or safe with a new baby in a big city. I was not confident, woke up every day feeling bloated, unhealthy and unmotivated. I didn’t know I was depressed at the time, but in retrospect I clearly was suffering.
When my husband would come home for work, I was depleted. I kept our baby alive, well fed, clean and secure, but I wasn’t nourished. I found it very hard taking care of myself for my whole life then pivoting to take care of a child whose needs come above mine every single time. I loved this baby with everything and would give him everything, but I felt like I was sacrificing myself. I wasn’t interacting with adults, I never found fulfillment in domestic duties (and would always seek support when I could afford it), and I wasn’t growing intellectually.
I never knew I NEEDED work, until I didn’t have it.
Alas, my dilemma.
How do I have both? How can I be the mom and have the career path? How do other moms do it?
I recognized that I am a hard worker (i.e. I get shit done). I was always known for coming through, delivering quickly, correctly (most of the time), and at scale. I was a go-getter. I had a lot to offer professionally, but, I needed something else from my employer.
I needed trust.
I needed flexibility.
I needed boundaries.
I left Bloomberg on good terms. However, I recognized, I could not return. It was an amazing place to grow my career, and there are many well-adjusted, senior, well represented women at the company, but the flexibility I was seeking wasn’t possible.
I wanted the option to work from home. I wanted to prove to my managers and leaders that if you give me a little room, I’ll still deliver- and often over-deliver- because I am in a healthy mindset. I have boundaries. I can breathe, I get it done, and I’m good at it.
We moved to suburbs just shy of my son’s 10-month birthday. Within a month of relocating, I got a call from a large tech company who I had interviewed with the year prior for a role in Seattle (which I was not open to at the time). The hiring manager remembered me, sought me out, and told me she could hire me in NYC. I told her I was interested, but needed a role with flexibility. On that first phone call said the most magical words: “you can work from home 2-3 days per week.” I responded, “how soon can I start?”
This was in 2013.
11 years ago, I recognized my limitations. 11 years ago, I walked away from my first job and the first company I truly loved. 11 years ago, I understood what I needed.
11 years ago, I knew I needed to speak up for myself and tell my employer what I wanted and why they should hire me anyways.
And they heard me, and gave me what I asked for.
I got the job.
I continued to grow, develop and climb the ladder at one of the most notoriously difficult companies to work for.
What should YOU do?
Don't be afraid to take time to figure out what you want, need and and can handle.
Be direct and self advocate.
YOU GOT THIS
...and if you need some help- reach out to me!
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